The Balinese Character
The Balinese are easygoing, courteous, gentle, and kind if you are
kind. But don't think that because the Balinese smile a lot and are friendly
they make good, long-lasting friends. The villages are tight-knit, almost
impossible for non-Balinese to penetrate, and are very business and family
oriented. Westerners dislike hierarchy, are suspicious of authorities,
and believe in egalitarianism. Balinese, on the other hand, are submissive
to authority. Loyalty to family, clan, village, and friends is most important.
Balinese are more direct than the Javanese
who are taught as little children to lie, as in "If you stop crying, there's
an ice cream man in front of the house." They want to tell you only what
they think you want to hear. The Balinese though are more straightforward.
In business dealings they come more quickly to the point. On Bali, every
driver uses the horn; on Java, no one does. The Balinese also work harder
than the Javanese, are easier to train, and complete their jobs. They make
better houseboys, waiters, porters, and drivers. After all, they've been
dealing with Westerners and their myriad idiosyncrasies since the 1930s.
The Balinese have a strong propensity for
jealousy (irihati) or envy of other Balinese and Indonesians, especially
in the upper classes. They gossip, slander, and make snide remarks behind
the backs of other people in their compound or village. A banjar
can be a veritable hotbed of gossip-some mischievous, some vicious.
But the Balinese are very adept at hiding
jealousy, envy, and anger. When Balinese men drink, they might lose their
temper and become excitable over perceived insults or discourtesies, particularly
if they lose face. Otherwise, they're passive. Anger is not shown openly.
Loud voices are considered vulgar, and the more vehement the discussion,
the quieter a Balinese is likely to become. In a quarrel with a Balinese,
Westerners are assertive, confrontational, and openly angry. Westerners
think they are being frank and down-to-earth, but Balinese find them rude
and offensive. Watch what happens at Denpasar airport when 17 pushy real
estates agents from Los Angeles learn that Garuda has overbooked and their
seats given away. The angrier they become, the more withdrawn and soft-spoken
the Balinese become. He will continue to smile, maintain a calm appearance,
and withdraw from the quarrel, choosing to deal with the issue later through
a third person. Under intolerable stress, the normal Balinese reaction
is retreat deeper into one's self, seeming no longer to inhabit their bodies
and cutting themselves off from the outside world.
After a fatal car accident, relatives of the
deceased can be seen sleeping at the accident site. Or as a village court
decides what to do with a thief, he'll nod off. If you've been away and
come back to find your ibu or houseboy asleep in the afternoon,
you know that something has been lost, broken, or stolen. When pushed beyond
this temporary catatonic state, a Balinese may "run amok," an extreme cultural
reaction to overpowering stress. Balinese rarely show anger but when they
do, they erupt without warning like a volcano. An estimated 50,000 people
died on Bali in 1966-67 during an orgy of killing which followed an alleged
communist coup. Essential reading on the subject is The Balinese People:
A Reinvestigation of the Balinese Character (Jensen and Suryani: 1993).
Co-authored by a Balinese, this insightful book takes a refreshing look
at the Balinese character from their perspective.
Individual versus the Group
There's no place for the individual in this society like in the West.
Bali is a crowded island, and its people live in very close proximity.
As exemplified in the Balinese banjar and subak organizations,
it's the individual's duty to obey the will of the group and the group
leader. Loyalty to family, banjar, and village are more important
than self-advancement.
Emphasis is placed on mutual togetherness,
and on physical and emotional closeness to others of the same sex. The
Balinese seek the security and support of others. Individuals aren't admired
and may eventually be ostracized from the banjar if they don't fulfill
their community obligations. Community members feel at one with the group,
self-identity deriving from group identity. Balinese consider the man or
woman who stands alone as unnatural and a little absurd.
Many Balinese are accustomed to sharing their
beds with family members and may feel lonely or frightened when sleeping
alone. A family member who brings disgrace to the family, even through
no fault of their own, will be cast out in order to maintain family dignity.
Sex and Intimacy
Balinese of the opposite sex are not openly affectionate to one another.
At public gatherings men always sit to one side of the courtyard and women
on the other-gossiping, praying, smoking, gambling, or whatever. Though
considered homosexual behavior in Western societies, Balinese males and
females frequently touch, link arms, or hold hands with their peers in
a social setting. The whole island seems to share this quite unaffected
and casual intimacy, considered a mark of friendship and sociability, not
sexuality.
On Bali it's okay for men to touch other men
in public. Balinese sometimes perceive Western men as unfriendly when they
don't allow themselves to be touched, while Westerners perceive Balinese
men as effeminate when they do. Touching very seldom occurs between people
of the opposite sex, especially lovers. To do so would bring shame and
embarrasment to the families of those involved. Out of respect, Westerners
should never kiss or show affection in public. All this doesn't mean that
the Balinese are puritans. They love to tell bawdy off-color jokes, children
are adept at making ribald puns, and the men aren't a bit shy about courting
Western women.
Hygiene
Inside mandi (bathroom) consist of just a cement tub for bathing,
or a bath and toilet combination. Don't jump into the bath water; it's
for throwing over you. The floor gets wet, but that's okay. Balinese are
surprised and amused when they see Westerners trying to keep their bathroom
floors dry. Most outdoor bathing places have concealing walls and separate
areas for men and women. The Balinese bathe at least twice daily-early
in the morning, and after school or work.
It's okay to bathe with your respective gender.
They'll probably laugh. Bring your own towel, soap, and shampoo. Both sexes
are very discreet about showing their private parts and it's extremely
bad manners to stare at bathers even if the bathing place is open. It is
grossly impolite to take photos of bathers, covered or not. Bathing places
should be avoided from around 1700 on to let Balinese bath in peace. In
many locales, the Balinese wait until the last tourist bus has gone because
they don't like being photographed while bathing.
The left hand is used in the toilet and the
right is kept clean for eating, shaking hands, and sprinkling holy water
or wafting incense. Men needing to urinate in a crowded place just squat
down in a ditch with knees spread for cover. Avoid blowing your nose into
a handkerchief in front of others.
Anything low to the ground or touching it
is considered soiled, including babies until they are six months old. Clothing
is looked upon as unclean, particularly the clothes of women who have recently
given birth or clothing which might have been tainted with menstrual blood.
It's inconceivable for a Balinese to walk under a line hung with drying
clothes.
Dress and Grooming
Be neat, clean, and fairly careful about what you wear. Shorts, tank
tops, braless jerseys, or strapless tops in small villages could be insulting,
something only fieldworkers and laborers do. This clothing can be worn
in the beach resorts of southern Bali, but upland towns such as Ubud and
Bangli are not surfing beaches and conservative dress is in order. Old,
faded, or torn clothes, bare shoulders and knees, or excessively native
dress is also considered bad form. Wear a collared shirt, skirt, or trousers,
and shoes when a visiting a government office such as kantor imigrasi
(immigration office), applying for a driver's license, visiting a sacred
area, or attending a ceremony. Take your shoes off before entering a private
residence.
A sarung tied above the breasts is
only acceptable on the way to the beach or on the way to bathe. The Balinese
are not bothered by nude or semi-nude bathing, but the ruling Javanese
are-it's illegal on Bali's beaches. However, it's impossible to arrest
scores of barebreasted Italian and French women.
Religion
Ninety percent of Balinese are Hindu; their temples are roofless, open
to the air, and very informal. Guests (tamu) may enter a temple
any time as long as they are properly dressed and follow some simple but
strict rules meant to preserve the temple's sanctity. Since the early 1970s
signs in English have been posted in front of temples and government offices
showing graphic examples of appropriate and inappropriate dress.
When entering temples, traditional adat
dress is required: the legs must be covered; if you don't have a sarung
then you may rent one to wrap around shorts or short dresses; if wearing
long pants, sashes should be worn around the waist. Smile when you pay
the token fee (Rp550) which goes to the upkeep of the temple. Except when
praying or attending a ceremony, temple courtyards are not for sitting
in, and don't use your flash during ceremonies or praying.
Menstruating women are believed to be "impure"
(sebel) and may not enter temples or participate in any religious
activity. If a Balinese woman enters a temple during her period and makes
an offering, she could be severely fined. This does not reflect a sexist
attitude but is based on the prohibition of unsanctified blood on sacred
ground.
When ceremonies involving revered objects
are underway, sit on the ground or move to the back of the temple. Keep
out of the way and don't move in front of worshippers. It's forbidden to
climb up on temple walls (to take a better photograph, for example) or
to put oneself on a higher level than that of a priest. It's also considered
sacreligious to step over or stand with one's head above a revered barong
mask or other sacred object in a temple. Clothes should never be hung to
dry on temple walls including those surrounding domestic shrines.
The Balinese aren't offended easily, but they
do have their own opinions on religion. If you're an atheist, don't tell
everybody-the Balinese will react with confusion, disbelief, even scorn,
thinking you're a godless communist. For them, it would be like discovering
that a person was alive without a heartbeat.
Table Manners
A Balinese will always offer to share his meal when a visitor arrives
at his house, office, or park bench, and he will usually excuse himself
for eating in front of you at a warung. If you're offered food or
drink in someone's home it is polite to accept or at least ask for a glass
of hot tea. A guest may not start to eat or drink until invited to do so
by the host with "Silakan" ("Please begin to eat") or "Minimlah"
("Please drink"), sometimes 20 minutes later! Take a small helping the
first time because your host will be offended if you don't eat a second.
It's polite to keep pace with your host. If you empty your plate, it means
you want more. If you are the host, ask your Indonesian guest to eat or
drink when food is served since he will wait until you offer it. Many Balinese
don't use utensils at home but eat the traditional way with the fingers
of the right hand. Never eat with the left hand-it's used instead of toilet
paper. When you're done eating ask the host or hostess for permission (permisi)
to leave.
Indonesians are not accustomed to eating uncooked
food such as salads, cold meats, and dairy products, but fruit is often
served after a meal. Westerners rarely eat the insides of cattle, pigs,
or chickens, but on Bali every part of an animal is eaten except its eyes.
Families don't usually talk during meals; conversation starts after. If
you have to pick your teeth cover your mouth with your hands-only animals
show their fangs.
Body Language
Aggressive gestures and postures such as crossing your arms or standing
with your hands on hips while talking, particularly with older people,
is regarded as insulting since this is the traditional posture of defiance
and anger in wayang theater. In an exchange with someone older or
in a high office, extend your right arm (but not too far) and bring your
left arm across the front of your body touching your fingers to your right
elbow. Also show respect by bowing from the waist when passing an older
person, a priest or reverend, or a person of equal age whom you don't know-particularly
if that person is sitting. Turn your body slightly sideways, extend your
right hand, and walk by half bent over.
Next to sex organs, feet are considered the
lowliest and most profane body parts. It's a serious offense to sit with
the soles of your feet pointing at people (such as propping them up on
a table). It's also terribly impolite to use your toes for pointing as
when indicating something displayed on the ground in the pasar.
Also, to beckon anybody with the crooked index finger is rude. If you need
to call to someone, extend your right hand and make a motion using the
cupped fingers turned downward. Neither should you point with your forefinger,
but use instead your right thumb. The left hand is considered unclean,
never use it to touch someone or to exchange things. If you should use
your left hand, say "Ma'af" ("Excuse me").
Don't pat children on the head. In fact, never
touch anybody's head as the Balinese see the head as sacred, the seat of
the soul. Pillows shouldn't be used for sitting because they are meant
for the head. A barber will ask permission before he cuts your hair, and
a hotel receptionist will apologize before placing a flower behind your
ear.
Vendors
In the tourist locales street vendors can be unbelievably pushy. Be
polite at first, expressing your disinterest while looking them in the
eye. They're just trying to make a living like everyone else, and if you
ask the price they'll think you're interested and hound you mercilessly
until you buy. If the vendor persists, make a stand, stating firmly and
unequivocally that you don't want the item. Repeat this in Indonesian or
in English, and look them straight in the eye (don't look at the item they're
selling) until they back off. This usually works. If it doesn't, say vehemently
"Silahkan pergi!" ("Please go away!"). Another effective technique
to use with a nagging crafts seller is to make an offer so ridiculously
low he gives you up for a lost cause (but be careful, he could accept it!).
Be wary of predatory guides who offer to show you around arts and crafts
shops. They expect a commission from the owners.
Dealing with the Bureaucrats
Tourists who break the law make it hard for those who follow the rules,
so give your fellow travelers a break. But don't always assume you need
permission to do something or go somewhere. The more questions you ask,
the more questions will be asked of you. Humility goes a long way when
dealing with Indonesian bureaucrats. If you get into any hassles with annoying
cops, customs agents, or imigrasi officials, just act meek, friendly,
and innocent. In most cases, they just want you to show respect and acknowledge
that they're real. If there's a problem, bypass petty officials if you
can and go right to the top. Often, people in authority are more intelligent,
reasonable, and understanding, and you'll eventually have to go to them
anyway.
Drugs
The ultimate hassle in Bali is getting busted for selling or using
drugs, an offense the Indonesians take very seriously. You'll be offered
marijuana and hash along Jl. Legian in Kuta and Legian, but half the time
you'll get ripped off and may risk being turned in by a police informer,
hotel owner, or passerby. Indonesian authorities believe that foreign tourists
have established a narcotic network on Bali. About the only "legal" drugs
are the magic mushrooms (oong) served in omelettes and fruit juices
in some of the restaurants of Kuta.
It's no longer easy to bribe your way out
of a drug bust. Nine year sentences for drug dealers is the norm, and there
are always Westerners stranded in jail for drug convictions, abandoned
by country and friends.
Beggars
In the sacred lontar it states that the Balinese must give to
beggars. They are accepted members of society, but only if they are crippled,
retarded, or have some other health problem. You're not obliged to give
money to strong, healthy people.
The beggars you see in Kuta and Legian are
usually mountain people from the Kintamani area. Traditionally they grow
corn, potatoes, and salak, which they sell or barter in the rice-growing
towns. However, many have turned to begging because they make a better
living off dumb tourists. They put on a sad face and dress themselves and
their small children in rags. Don't fall for it. The more you give, the
less motivation healthy individuals and their children will have to earn
an honest living. Never give money to children as it creates an endless
cycle of dependence and diminishes their self-worth. Encourage Balinese
pride by saying "Tidak boleh!" ("You may not!") to begging children.
Instead of money, offer a look through your binoculars, pens, notebooks,
or color postcards (in Kuta or Legian or you'll be mobbed). If an adult
Balinese does a favor, a little uang rokok (literally, "cigarette
money" or pocket change) may be appropriate. A small child who hikes all
the way up Mt. Batur before sunrise to sell cokes, or fetches coffee and
a newspaper is not begging. A small gratuity is definitely in order.
A Note for Women Travelers
Though Bali is a much easier place than Islamic Indonesia for a solitary
woman traveler, there are still difficulties. A young, statuesque woman
with blonde hair and blue eyes could face even more problems. Balinese
"Kuta Cowboys" (i.e. beach bums) flaunt their Western girlfriends or marry
Western women and become prosperous. Others now see it as their hope for
the future. A single woman will never receive so many marriage proposals
in her life.
Women are much more likely to get raped in
the U.S., Europe, or Australia than on Bali, but you can expect men to
pay you a lot of unwanted attention. To cut down on the attention, choose
your clothes with care and do nothing to invite advances. Except when going
to one of Bali's southern beaches, it's not a good idea to wear short shorts
or skirts, braless tanktops, or strapless tops. Don't ask a man to accompany
you to the beach at night for protection. He might misinterpret this as
an invitation to have sex, because Balinese men don't realize American
and Australian women fear they might be raped, robbed, or murdered if they
go to the beach alone.
It's almost incomprehensible to Balinese men
that a woman can live and travel alone. Women in Bali are afraid of living
alone. They need their families to perform religious rites for their ancestors.
Strong obligation to care for family members also keeps them at home. Men
feel a particularly strong obligation to care for their households and
ancestors. So here comes an unmarried, unaccompanied woman-she must want
to be cared for and protected. Balinese men have an innate charm and graciousness,
and when you ask a question, you're likely to get a sensitive answer. They
feel they are responding naturally and instinctively to what women really
want.
For years Australian men have gotten a big
kick out of telling naive Balinese men that all Western women like dirty
talk and sex, and if they say no they mean yes. They encourage the Balinese
men to keep pushing because all Western women want it. Then they laugh
about what fools they've made of the Balinese. As a result, men will ask
if you're married, have a boyfriend, or if you've ever slept with a Balinese
man. Answer very directly and even become rude to get rid of them-whatever
it takes. The polite way is to say "Saya senang sendiri" ("I prefer
to be alone") or "Saya mau lihat-lihat seorang saja" ("I'd like
to look around by myself"). As a last resort, take off your sunglasses,
turn your face away expressionless, and say emphatically "No!" If they
ever acted this way to Balinese women, they'd be knifed.
Some drivers say such filthy things that eventually
women don't feel safe getting into taxis. If you want more comfort and
convenience than a bemo provides, hire a car, but avoid situations
where intimacy might develop with your driver. Never take one driver for
long-terms or overnight, don't sit in the front seat with him, and don't
eat meals with him. Give him money for his own food if necessary. Another
way to discourage sexual harrasment is to say you're married and your husband
is waiting in the next village. Wear a wedding ring to back it up. Confidence
is important. Don't give out your room number to men, and don't hug a Balinese
man as it will invariably be misunderstood. You can also join other travelers
for out-of-town trips. It might be best for some single women to join a
group tour. But try to avoid turning every comment made by a Balinese man
into a sexual innuendo. Don't become livid at your roomboys when they always
ask "Where are you going?" In Indonesian culture, this is a courteous inquiry
along the lines of "How are you?" Politeness is not a sexual advance so
keep an informed and balanced point of view.
Discouraging Theft
All imaginable precautions should quickly become second nature to you.
Always lock your hotel room. If you're traveling in budget places it's
even better to bring your own lock and key to prevent inside jobs by houseboys
or maids. Quick and quiet, thieves will enter your room through a window
while you sleep and steal the camera from the hook above your head or the
backpack from underneath your bed. Some losmen owners practice extraordinary
security, checking at night to see if your door is locked properly. It's
an eerie sight to see your doorknob slowly turn, but it might just be your
landlord.
Ask to keep your valuables with the proprietor
at a homestay, or at the front desk at small hotels for safekeeping. Many
hotels now have safe deposit boxes (tempat simpan uang), the more
expensive ones even have them inside the rooms. When you go inside supermarkets
or department stores you can usually check your bag and your valuables
in a storage bin (tempat pinitipan barang). If you have the slightest
doubt about security, spend the extra money on a more expensive, safer
hotel with bars on the windows, a penjaga (guard), constant supervision
by family members or the manager, and a high fence or stone wall with barbed
wire or broken glass on top. The general public must be prevented
from entering the inner compound, and your window shouldn't face an alley
or side street, but toward the interior of the hotel. Don't leave bags
on floors where they can be hooked with a line or pole and pulled to the
window, and don't set anything valuable near an open window or on a curbside
table while dining al fresco. Also don't leave valuables in a vehicle-leave
the glove compartment open to show you don't have anything of value-and
never leave a camera bag unattended in the back, even if you're in the
vehicle with the back doors locked. Bags can be stolen when you stop and
talk to boys crowding around your vehicle trying to distract you.
Pickpockets
If your mind is not on your money, you'll be vulnerable to pickpockets.
Don't put your wallet in your back pocket-instead keep money deep inside
your front trouser pockets. Be wary of minor accidents-being shoved or
bumped, or having your foot stepped on. Don't be taken in by distractions,
and be very watchful while attending crowded festivals. One big advantage
of traveling with someone is that you're less likely to get robbed; you
can keep an eye on each other and your gear.
As a general rule, don't let anyone touch
you. On Kuta don't let the kids selling bracelets, wrist bands, or watches
near you. They might try to pick your pocket, moneybelt, or fanny pack-working
in tandem, one shows you the wares while the another shows you how a moneybelt
"works" by putting it around you, holding the belt just above your wallet.
No matter how cute or friendly they appear, just walk around them. If it's
your first time in Asia, it's always better to buy in a shop and not from
street peddlers.
Be cautious on Bali's bemo where travelers
get ripped off by young pickpockets dressed as schoolkids. Working in groups,
one or two act as a diversion while an accomplice steals. A large package,
basket, or painting serves as cover. On the bemo which ply the tourist
corridor between the capital and the hinterland, don't freak out if a pickpocket
probes your jeans or shoulder bag for money. Take the strange fingers out,
point, and announce to everyone, "Pencopet!" ("Pickpocket!"). Probably
no one will do anything, but the thief won't stick around after that. Sit
in the "traveler's seat" in the back of the bemo with your right
or left side next to the cab. This will make your pockets and bags more
difficult to get into. Keep your backpack against the cab with your eye
on it, pockets facing the wall. If you see a suspicious situation shaping
up, just get out and flag down another bemo-why take chances?
Wallets, Shoulder Bags, Passports
The whole concept of the wallet-in-the-hip-pocket must be discarded
while in Bali. Pickpockets know exactly how to get at them, and at purses
and shoulderbags. Avoid zippered shoulder bags because the zipper doesn't
always close all the way, leaving room for a hand to reach inside. Instead,
use a latch or snap which fastens the bag and can be locked, or a bag with
a small opening which you have to pry apart yourself. The less you open
your bag in public, the better.
Snatch thieves work in pairs on a motorbike.
One sitting in back grabbing your shoulder bag or moneybelt, dragging you
with it if you don't let go, and the other driving. Be wary of approaching
motorbikes. Some travelers bear scratch marks from thieves who try to tear
off necklaces and watches. Don't put valuables in a camera case; thieves
have caught on to this practice. Cheap styrofoam coolers are better for
storing valuables because they don't look like they contain valuables.
When moving around the island, leave your
address book, traveler's check serial numbers, passport number, photographs,
heavy money, air tickets, and other hard-to-replace papers in the bottom
of your backpack. You're less likely to lose your backpack, and valuables
can be taken out in the privacy of your room as you need them. Your backpack
offers the most security because it either remains in your room or on your
back, making it difficult for a thief to get into it without being detected.
Keep only those possessions you can live without in side pockets or on
the top layer of unlocked rucksacks or daypacks.
Lost Air Tickets/Passports
Write down your airline ticket number, flight number, issuing agent,
date of issue, and method of payment. This information will make your ticket
easier to refund in case of loss, but you still have to pay US$10 or more
to the airline to replace it. The airline wants to be sure tickets haven't
been used, so they can only be refunded at least three months after their
expiration date.
Don't put your passport and money in the same
place. If they're stolen, you've lost everything. Report passport loss
immediately to the nearest police station and ask for a letter of reported
theft/loss. Without this letter, a replacement passport to give you an
extension from the imigrasi could be difficult. New passports or
letters of travel can be obtained through consulates and embassies, most
likely in Jakarta. Indonesia's major trading partners (Australia, Japan,
U.S.A., the Netherlands) maintain consulates on Bali, many in Sanur (see
"Information and Services," later in this chapter).
Moneybelts
An underpaid policeman can end up being your only friend in the case
of a stolen or lost moneybelt. He might console you, feed you, then start
up a collection to get you back safely to "your friends." This happened
to me once in Padangpai after my moneybelt was stolen aboard the ferry
from Lombok.
Designed to go under your clothes,
moneybelts are highly recommended for Indonesia. If you hang a compact
pouch on a leather strap around your neck, dangling under your shirt, it
can be yanked off in crowds. A tight moneybelt fastened around your waist
next to your skin is better. Keep your traveler's cheques, passport, and
other documents in plastic covers inside so they don't become soiled with
sweat, thus illegible or troublesome to use. On extended trips around the
island, wrap a cloth or handkerchief around your belt so your skin doesn't
get irritated because of the wet canvas. Select a moneybelt with the buckle
in front so it doesn't gouge into your back when you're carrying your backpack.
Highly durable, water-repellent, cotton-blend,
field-tested moneybelts with heavy-duty zippers are available for only
$8.95 plus $1.25 shipping direct from Moon Publications, P.O. Box 3040,
Chico, CA 95927, U.S.A. (tel. 800-345-5473). Another very secure and undetectable
way to carry large-denomination bills is a thick leather belt with a zipper
along the inside which opens to a long, narrow, interior compartment. These
cost around US$15 in Europe (not easy to find in the U.S.A. or Australia).